Christian Dating Guide

What is off limits in a christian relationship as far as getting physical before marriage?

My girlfriend is christian and we attend church together. She is not a virgin, has been with a couple guys, one was a "rape" and another one was with her boyfriend after that about 6-7 years ago. I am not a virgin either. Out dilemma is that when we get together we sometimes go too far in her opinion. Making out has gotten boring, so we moved up to tittie action. We also grind on each other sometimes with our clothes on. That's about it. We never finish though. This has happened a few times and she says she has gone way overboard. Has she? What can we do that is not off limits, personnaly I don't consider that sex and neither do most people. Our clothes are on and we don't do it long. I love her and don't want to lose her but I don't want to be stuck with just making out.

Public Comments

1. Talk about it together. Each Christian is different. Personally for me, waiting for marriage seemed what I wanted to do until I worried about the pain of breaking my hymen. After my husband and I had been engaged (and dating for 3 years), we had sex. We were both virgins. Talk about it together. Look at what you consider sex and what you consider too far. If heavy petting is going to lead to sex, that's out. Also, you don't have to be phsyical to show your love for her.
2. Don't do anything alone together, you wouldn't do in front of the pastor.......lol
3. err, propose
4. im christian, not the best one, but still...from a really straight-laced christian point of view, people will say that making out is the farthest it should go so technically what you're doing is a bit of a stretch. but nowadays our values are all distorted so i dont think what you're doing is that serious. goin too far would be ANYTHING that involves removing clothes or something like that
5. Oh well. You two are choosing to follow a religion that says no nookie before marriage. Your girlfriend is right. What would Jesus do? He sure as hell wouldn't be dry humping his girlfriend before they were married now would he. Marry her or believe in something you agree with.
6. According to the Bible, you are fornicating. That is a big no no! A friend of mine was recently telling me that there is a scripture in the Bible (not sure where) that points out that even kissing should nt happen until your wedding. "You may kiss the bride" part. Why? Because, kissing is something that causes emotional ties between the two people. Holding hands is okay. Remember, God is watching you, because He loves you so much, He can't keep His eyes off of you. Please, respect her wishes, of "cooling it". She has a conscience that is bothering her when you go too far-she knows what is right, And, as I stated before, holding hands is okay. By the way, I know of two couple (I've heard of) (seen one), who waited until the wedding for their first kiss. It does make it that much more special to wait. Take care.
7. You should pray to God for guidance. However, you are to avoid the appearance of sin, and if you are grinding like a coffee blender -- I would say it appears that you are simulating sexual acts.
8. Maybe you should ask her what it would take for her to go all the way. How long have you been going out with her maybe she waiting for you to propose.
9. It all depends on the Christian--some save even their first kiss for the wedding day, and others have no qualms about expressing themselves more openly to whatever sexual degree. It seems like she's trying very hard to be a "born-again virgin"--it's a lot harder to stop when you know how good it can feel. It's hard enough to stop for virgins who don't know. Talk with her about it at a non-sexy time. Decide what is okay and what is too far together, and try to come up with ways to express your love/affection for each other in ways that aren't necessarily physically sexual. There are a lot of ways to be intimate, and some really stellar ways have nothing to do with sex or heavy petting or anything like that. "I don't want to be stuck with just making out." Sorry to hear that, but if you love her and that's all the farther she is able to go, that's what you will be "stuck with". Try not to think of it as being stuck with it--think of it as an opportunity to grow in your relationship in different ways. If you honestly do respect and love her, you won't push her into doing sexual things that she does not want to do--regardless of her reasoning. Perhaps you should have a pastor mediate. :-) If you can't handle that conversation with a preacher (which you'll have to do in pre-marriage counseling someday as it is) then it's probably farther than you should be going. ;-) It's difficult, for sure. But it's not all about making out and grinding and so on. The best stuff has little to do with that, actually.
10. It doesn't really matter what other people think. If her conscience is telling her it is too much, it is too much and you are just going to be a total jerk if you ask for more, push for more, or even encourage more. Because of her past experience it may be harder for her to stop at just making out, but as the man (leader) of the relationship you need to respect her and guard her purity. It is your responsibility to keep her pure and to not make her feel guilty. If you can't live with that, then find someone else to grind with.
11. Evidently what you feel and what she feels is not the same. This is normal. If you really want to continue being with her then just keep your fly shut until she opens it for you. If you feel the relationship is going no place then keep her as a friend and have sex with another.
12. Dude!!!! yes.and its not that you consider it sex or not..as you said you`re clothed sometimes make up you`re mind on or off..its what it implies .lust.one of the greatest sins most hated by God....the only thing you could do is Marry her before God!!!or leave her be since you`re not Cristian..you either commit or dont you decide