Christian Dating Guide

How can I get my dog to engage in more Christian-like behavior?

I am very concerned about my labrador's soul. He is always sniffing other dog's butts (which is both disgusting, and embarrassing). He's not monogomous. He has "special relationships" with other male dogs. What can I do to make him a monogomous, behaved, and more Christian-like dog? Serious answers only please. Thanks!

Public Comments

1. Take him to dog church. (you do realize that many are of the belief dogs don't have souls....)
2. is he baptized.
3. Read him the bible?? :) FYI: Dogs sniff each others rears to pick up scent, mood, energy, etc. Dogs mount and hump dogs of the same sex and dogs of opposite sex to try to establish dominance.
4. Why are you trying to force your religion on your dog? Let him decide for himself.
5. If you are a Christian, aren't you suppose to learn taht animals don't have souls??
6. OBEDIENCE TRAINING
7. Have him fetch wooden crucifixes.
8. Take him to doggy church.
9. Well, you could send him to training, but if you wnt him to be Christian like, then you need to seek help from above
10. hahahahah!!! lmfao!
11. That's a dogs way of saying hi or getting to know the dog!! Every dog does that!
12. It's not a sin when the dog doesn't know better. God made him that way after all.
13. sorry i only know how Jewish dogs have to act. christian dogs are different.
14. Dogs ARE NOT HUMANS. They do not live by human standards and beliefs. Im sorry but if normal dog behavior bothers you that much, you need to give your dog up for adoption because he is just acting in accordance with NATURE.
15. Tape a bible to him, if god exists he will learn through osmosis.
16. with a question like that ur gonna get 99 % only non-serious answers...lol...but using common sence i dont think you can make a dog more christian-like...it just sounds so crazy...what do u want him to do pray by his bed before going to sleep every night...go into confession every time he commits a sin....it just isnt gonna happen....sorry
17. You are obviously not serious with this question so why should your answers be serious. This has to the the dumbest thing i have ever heard of.
18. Dogs do not have a religion. These behaviors are norma. That's what they do. We, as humans, shake hands. Dogs sniff butts. It is what it is.
19. if you were a real christian then you would not be christian. i am not christian but i was raised that way unfortunately. real christians believe that dogs don't have souls or even feelings. so in other words he can have as much fun as he wants and not have to worry about it like your lil christian butt. i don't worry thought but i know there's nothing after i die.
20. He needs to spend more time with the bitches!
21. Good one....I can't wait to see all the "God Botherers" answers for this one. Incidentally, If you want to be taken a little more seriously I suggest you change your user name...very large fart......please! Good Wind Up though.
22. What the . . .? Dogs aren't human. If this question is serious you honestly should not own an dog. Take your dog instantly to the humane society in your area or GIVE it away. Dogs have NO conscious thinking patterns as humans do therefore are unable to reason, eliminating them from SIN. SERIOUSLY; you should NOT own a dog.
23. So a man brings a dog to a priest. "Father, can you baptize my dog?" The priest says, "I'm sorry, we only baptize humans." "Oh. Well, my brother passed away and he wanted to donate $50,000 to the church who would baptize his dog." "Whoa, wait a minute!" The priest blurts. "You didn't tell me the dog was Catholic! Of course we can baptize him!"
24. Of course, sniffing the sidewalk, the fire hydrant and other dogs may seem pointless to you, but it provides a wealth of information to your dog. Dogs have a need to know, and smelling is how they learn. "Dogs smell each other and their secretions to monitor physiological and emotional changes." "It's like getting the morning paper or a hot-off-the-press tabloid." A dog's scent organ (inside his nose) is about four times larger than a human's, and a dog's sense of smell is about 50-100 times more powerful than ours. Although all dogs have a powerful sense of smell, some breeds have a greater talent for sniffing out things. A few examples are Basset Hounds, Bloodhounds, and Beagles, which are considered 'scent hounds.' If you live with a scent hound, you know how difficult it is to get his mind focused on anything but odors.
25. That's ridiculous. First off, that's what dogs do. They sniff each. Its kinda their way of shaking hands. Second, those are not "special relationships", he's showing his dominance. Again, what dogs do. If your really that worried, maybe you could read him the bible every night before you go to bed. That might help you feel better.
26. You can't. He was born that way and will roast in Hell with the other butt sniffers and special relationship having dogs. Your best bet is getting a fish if you want your pet to act in any way monotheistic. Sorry.
27. i thinks he will learn over the years.
28. Jesus has not appeared to the dogs yet. When he does, there will be another testament, kind of like the Book of Mormon, only I don't know that we'll know about it because we don't speak dog and dogs don't write. Maybe your dog is trying to pass the Word by sniffing the other dogs' butts? You know, maybe that is some kind of "secret handshake". : )
29. ummm... i think you must be very weird. dogs dont have religions, nor do they follow them. so im gonna go with there is no way you can make him christian.... sorry :) also, dogs are supposed to sniff each other, not be monogamous and just really be dogs... thats what they do. live with it.
30. R U Serious?!
31. Oy... first off dog's sniffing other dogs butts is their equivilant to shaking hands and saying "hi". It's normal. I would actually be concerned if the dog did not go to sniff the other dog. And as for monogomy... every species takes sex differently. Some species mate for life (ie: squirrels, penguins, wolves) and others mate purely for the purpose of creating offspring and really don't give a hoot about their mate outside of that mate being healthy, strong, and fertile (ie: cats, rats, bears). The humping of another male dog is mostly likely a dominence thing of your dog saying "Hey, I'm in charge and you're not". And really, religion is a purely human invention. Some species of animals recognize their own dead and revere them, such as elephants who even go so far as to drag carcasses to "elephant grave yards". As for religiong though... hate to break it to you but unless you're going to count teaching your dog to sit up and "beg" you're never going to see that animal pray. And I do believe animals have souls, I just believe there's a special god, or aspect of God that looks after them that doesn't ask them to pray, it only asks them to be the best animal they can be. Seriously, don't push religion on creatures who can't understand it, just ask them to be the best they can be.
32. Catholic Churches sometimes have pet blessings. Take him to meet HIM. Read the bible to your dog, and for Christ's sake...STOP LETTING HIM SEE YOU SNIFF BUTTS AND HAVE RANDOM SEX!!!GEEEZ!!!!
33. play fetch with the bible? I DON'T KNOW!
34. Some people don't know tongue-in-cheek humor when they see it. Thanks for the laugh!!!
35. um...dogs sniff each others butt. it's normal. it's a way for them to meet one another. it's weird but true. and i don't think you should be worried about his soul./ God came to earth to save US. i don't think he came to save the dogs. We are able to talk and ask the Lord into our hearts...i don't think dogs can. wel...you could pray about it and maybe talk to some dog pro's.
36. Are you seriously asking this? A) Dogs use rear sniffing as a way of identifying each other B) Who says butt sniffing isn't Christian-like C) I think you are insane for even contemplating this. In one sniff your dog can tell if the other dog is male/female, how old it is , is it healthy, and even what it eats. This is a lot more info then we get with a handshake. I think your dog is wondering why we don't use their form of greeting. Please stop projecting your issues onto your dog.