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Christian dating help!?
My girlfriend and i have been dating for about a year. We both want to glorify God with our relationship yet everybody knows how easy it is to fall in to sexual temptations. Lately we have found ourselves making mistakes like feeling on each other or me fingering her or something stupid like that. We both know that it is wrong but it so easy to fall into this kind of stuff. We really dont want to let this ruin our relationship because we both kno that if something does not change we will have to break up. Also keep in mind that i am seventeen and she is fifteen. Any help at all will be more than helpful. I would really like to know of a book that we could read together that could outline some of the basics of how to stay away frome sexual temptations. Thanks for all of the help and God bless all that help us on our journey to sexual purity. it would really help of somebody could give advice on a book to read that would helkp us, maybe there is not one but she keeps asking for me to find us a book to do together that would help us and thanks for the first two comments
Public Comments
- You need to take some steps to put proper boundaries on your relationship. Try spending time together with groups or with planned activities that will give you the opportunity to get to know each other as people instead of "sex partners". Don't isolate yourself or otherwise put yourselves in places where you will be tempted to make out. Beyond the moral and spiritual aspects of this problem, and depending on what state you live in, you face very real legal consequences should you engage in sex with this girl--you are probably considered an adult & she is definitely a minor, so she or her parents could press charges. Maybe that will help deter you! Pray about it alone before you go out, and together with her. Spend time talking about life goals and compatibility issues that will help the two of you figure out if you are right for each other long term. Encourage each other in your other endeavors and keep your priorities straight--you should be focused on finishing school, plans for college, possibly part-time jobs, extra-curricular activities, etc. Find some other like-minded teens or even adults you can confide in at church or school and ask them to hold you accountable. Like I said, plan outings that are in public, in groups, in daylight, and keep you otherwise occupied. You both should also be mindful of the type of movies, music, and other cultural influences that may be affecting your desires here. Carefully and prayerfully choose movies to watch that will not fuel passions, and be mindful (probably especialy her) about what clothes you are wearing when you are together or how familiar you are with each other. There are probably lots of books on the subject available through Christian bookstores and even the internet (the website for True Love Waits would probably be a good resource for you), but the best book is the Bible. Go to practical books such as Proverbs for Bible study on this subject and other pertinent topics for young people needing wisdom to make good choices! I admire you for your strong stand on this issue--God will bless you if you stay true to your convictions. Ignore the persecution you may get from others who don't understand. Sex outside of marriage is not what God intended, and will NOT bring you lasting joy and fulfillment--the two of you will NOT regret saving yourselves for each other or whoever your spouse ends up being!
- the first comment is a little harsh... as a devoted christian girl, i think you have already passed the boundary line. but i know that He will forgive you and give you both a fresh start. i can tell you really want to be pure :] so, i would just say to keep yourself busy and try not to be alone with each other too much. when you are alone together, make sure you are in a public place like a restaurant, that way [hopefully] yall wont be tempted to push things too far. also, ask God for help. He has given you everything you need to avoid temptation, and that is the best way to avoid it! good luck with your relationship...i hope everything works out :]
- read "every man's battle"
