ChristianDatingGuide.com - ATHEISTS answer please: what potential problems do you see with dating a Christian? Any advice from experience

ATHEISTS answer please: what potential problems do you see with dating a Christian? Any advice from experience

I just asked this question to everyone but it mainly seems to be Christians answering it so now I"m narrowing it down. I've never had romantic feelings for a CHristian before, I always assumed it just wouldn't work out. Now I do have those types of feelings, but am still not sure if it could work in the end. What do you think?

Public Comments

you have to go to church alot so do your kids
The biggest problem is going to be, what are you going to do every Sunday morning?
well, first you have to tell me who it is... j/k i'm dating a Xian, it isn't really a big issue right now, and until the possibility of children comes into play, it probably won't be an issue at all... she does what she does, I do what I do...
Some people say it's like mixing oil and water. However, I'm atheist because I don't like the constraints of society. If you love a Christian date her/him, just realize that it might not work unless you make it. Love is blind to belief although it is a factor. If that made any sense.
follow your heart
None really. I love when she dresses up like a nun and "punishes" me for my sins.
It is not an issue as long as they accept that you are who you are and don't try to convert you. I'm dating a christian and she accepts that I am an atheist.
". Now I do have those types of feelings, " Presumably for one person? Or do you have some kind of fetish?
I've never thought about religion, if they want to believe, it's upto them. I'm married to a catholic, but it never really enters my head, I just see the person.
I wouldnt have any problem, Ideas of faith shouldn't get in the way of romance. A true Christian preaches acceptance which includes others peoples religious beliefs or lack of one. And for the most part, atheist dont attack Christians for there beliefs either. I wouldn't have any problem, why are you offering to be the Christian?
I suspect you'll get very bored down the road. Walk away now.
it could work, religions shouldnt be the ultimate relationship decider, but from experience, if u choose the wrong kind of Christian, they may force their religion too much onto you and tell you that you will go to hell for being an atheist and such. It's a pain in the ass hearing that stuff all the time and it wouldn't make a healthy relationship, but it really depends on the Christian...
I would find it a problem but would try and work through it if I really liked them. It would be like dating someone who has an imaginary friend... if they never mentioned him/her then that may be fine but if they kept on talking to/about the imaginary friend then it could get annoying.
They're obviously gullible and very easy to manipulate- so that's a plus. the down side is they seem to feel guilty every time they have sex.
Wear a condom, they get pregnant when a strong breeze blows.
My sister is Christian and married to an Atheist for 15yrs now, and they have been perfectly happy.
I think that religion is a big part of life, but there is so much more to it. I think it depends on how strongly this person believes in his religion. I myself am agnostic, and I don't see religion as a reason not to date a person. Other personality qualities, yes, but I just don't think religious beliefs would affect my decision.
I would go nuts. More power to you though.
being harassed by do-gooders is more than most people can take. everytime you open the door you'll have one standing there. won't be able to drink beer, fart, belch, or smoke cigars watching football in your underwear and then there is your husband to consider!
I have dated a Christian before for a number of years. If you both have respect for one anothers beliefs, then it could work out. However, if one or both of you are not comfortable with your partners beliefs, then it won't work at all.
Atheists are so bla, you can't date a women if you have no faith you wont get close to anyone without faith. If you do your lucky. Go to church and get the lord you need him..
I'm not a religious person, and relationships have never worked out with christians. They always try to make you think you're going to hell and trying to make you go to church. It depends on how devout the person is, but if they are really into jesus, that's all you'll hear about.
The problem I see is that they would be deluded and not very bright to believe in magic and a sky fairy. Seriously - it would not work out. It would really annoy me after the 10th Pollyanna proclamation that "the Lord will provide" or that "He" works in mysterious ways. I need a more realistic relationship than that, a real partner, not some gullible sop. Some people like that in a partner because they can be easily controlled. I want a partner on equal terms.
It depends what type of Christian you want to date. Is it a fundie or a mainline Protestant? A Catholic or an Eastern Orthodox? Do they accept science? How do your views compare on social issues? I can't give a blanket statement for this, but there is nothing inherently bad about dating a Christian as an atheist. It all depends upon the two people involved.
do NOT start your relationship by finding out about the potential problems! you'll figure them out when they arise!
I wouldn't do it. I am unwilling to get married in a church or have my future children attend church (unless the choose to at a reasonable age). If these things aren't important to you then it could work. I guess a big factor is how religious is the person in question.
If you are of the age where you consider every relationship as a potential mate or life-partner - then I would say no, don't date a Christian or anyone else whose views and values and priorities differ so much from yours.
I'd make sure you had a clear understanding of the boundaries right up front. She may go into a relationship (assuming she feels the same way about you) with the idea that she can eventually convert you. If you let her know right up front that's not going to happen, then it may save a lot of grief down the road. Good luck.
Honestly, I would pretend to convert to Christianity for a woman if the sex was good.
The solution is for the atheist to keep quiet about religion. I dated a fantastic lady and said nothing about atheism, and let her have her religion, and we got married and have lived happily ever after. Church folks can believe what they want. I don't get upset about it. I realize it's nonsense, but there's more to it than that: it makes them happy. Let them be happy.
I htink that if your not a cristian you should not date her unless she is smokin hot. i dated a christian before and they can not do anything with you until you get married
It's a good question. I have struggled with this same issue. Honestly, what I can't get around is that I would not be able to respect the reasoning abilities of my significant other. I wish I could get over that, but it seems too important to me for a quality in my lover.
I'm not atheist, but an atheist dating a devout Christian (or Muslim for that matter) couldn't work for long. The three things couples fight most about are: money, sex and religion. It's a good idea to date someone who shares your views on these things, or you're looking for trouble in the long run. Think of when kids are born, the Christian is going to want to expose his/her child to their religion and the atheist is going to want to avoid having their child exposed to religion. The Christian is going to want to convert the atheist to his/her religion and the athiest is going to resent it. It's ok if you don't see eye to eye on politics, color of the bathroom, etc.. but it's best to see eye to eye on the big three.
None, if I could find a nice, non-judgmental Christian I would have no problem in entering a relationship, unfortunately, because of the teachings they follow, this is not likely to happen. I don't see how anyone could accept the concept of Hell in the perspective that most Christians do, as religion is and always has been based on little more than culture, this added to the fact that the vast majority of Christians act nothing like those teachings which actually do point to moral traits, I just don't see it happening for me..
It really depends how strongly they feel about their beliefs and how strongly you do. My father was an atheist and my mother Christian lite. It was no problem at all. But personally I don't think I could stand being with someone who strongly believed we were all born in sin and all the rest of that rubbish.
I dated a Xian for a while and even considered marrying her but my lack of faith was enough for us to break up. The main problem was she wasn't of the luke-warm variety that called themselves Xian and maybe went to church a couple times a year. She was one of the hard core Xians that really took her faith seriously and placed gawd at the centre of her life. Had she been less of a fanatic then things might have turned out better for us. I would find out how serious her religion is to her and whether or not she expects you to follow her in that. Also consider your children assuming you have any with her. How is it that they will be raised? Will she insist on them being Xian or will she allow them to choose their own path?
I have seen several atheist men here with Christian wives and they speak as to how it can indeed work. If she is not an ignorant fundie I think it could be good for both of you. Sweetie, maybe you could actually change each others lives for the better.
If the person is a believing Christian and not just a "social" Christian, then you have this risk: None if you just date them. Big if you marry them. You risk spending a lifetime with someone who believes differently with you on one of the most important issues in life. You will never escape Jesus. He will always be there. You are much more likely to end up a Christian than they are an atheist.
Honestly, it is the degree of religion they are. Depending on how open minded they are and if they realize you don't need saving. I think you will fight about it for which there is no impasse. How close they are to family and how religious the family is will also affect that too. There is no winner. I wish you well though, my hubby is an atheist and I was raised Christian but we met a time in my life where I questioned things and I was swayed dramatically by what I choose to believe are facts. I don't consider myself a Christian anymore.
Depends how serious they are. Lots of them don't even go to church. If s/he is really into Jesus, you're going to hear a lot about it and they will try to convert you. They will be upset if you won't go to church with them. If they aren't that serious about it, it won't be a big deal.
samandhis, You don't know me! There is nothing in the Bible about having a Beer or smoking a Cigar being sins! And I LOVE football, sometimes even watch in my underwear! The old stereo-types that all Christians are boring are way off base! You might want to look at the Catholic Church! BTW: I was a Protestant and married a Catholic Girl, it worked great and I am now Catholic also, just because of her example, not her pushing me. Like anything, before marriage (and during) you will need 3 things, Communication, communication, and more communication. Good Luck!
I think you should find out what her beliefs are and go from there. People here are assuming that this person is some sort of Bible thumping maniac. It's possible that there won't be much that comes up that is a problem. Sitting in your undies watching the game, isn't something that is against God. Find out what her beliefs are and see if it's going to be something you can live with.
My girlfriend is a Christian, and it's pretty common knowledge we've had problems, but I can't lay them all at the feet of religious differences. That having been said, you are putting the horse before the cart. If you are having anxieties over religious differences of a potential relationship with someone that you haven't even been able to admit your love to, you are building a "fanstasy" relationship before a real one has even begun. To tell the truth, at this point your constant vacillation--in a very public manner--would not in the slightest be viewed as attractive by most women. This is getting tiresome to all of us, and we aren't even the targets of your affection--imagine how it will be for her. I imagine that when--if--you reveal yourself to her, she will hand you back a rather disappointing response. The first question was cute and sweet. This dragging it out is monotonously boring and ruining your chances. You aren't acting like an interested prospect as much as you are acting like a creepy cyberstalker. Creepy isn't what most women are going for these days.
"what potential problems do you see with dating a Christian?" Well if they won't accept that carbon-dating is reliable, it will help if you are a silicon-based lifeform. More seriously, unless every issue in this area is out in the open early on, it's not going to work. There is no area of life that convinced Christianity does not influence. Possibly the most basic one: "what would we tell the children?" Is there or isn't there a God?
I am not atheist, but I am answering this from my brother-n-law's perspective. He is an atheist. They married 10 years ago in a private civil ceremony held in a nice restuarant with family only (the small intimate wedding had nothing to do with religion or lack thereof) my father just gave each of the 6 girls in our family a choice of a big lavish wedding (church or other setting) or a small family only event and the money he would have spent on a wedding.) This sister along with four more of us chose the money over the wedding because a wdding only last one day and the money was a down oayment on a home. I can't tell you that him being an atheisit did not play into their decision but that would have been one of many factors considered, because they could habe had a large civil wedding in a different venue than a church. In any event it has not hindered their relationship in any way. It helps that my family does not preach to him, look down on him or try TO CONVERT HIM as I see far too often in southern religious families. We are episcopllian, so that obvously makes a difference. There are southern Baptist families here that I can only imagine how hard it would be ti enter into a family that attends Services Sunday morning eveningg, wed. night and again Sat. But whether you are atheists, Jewish, Buddahst, Or whatever, interfaith relationships can be tough. As my brother in law told me it all depends on the girl and her religion, how devout they are, her family, and a pleathora of other factors. It also depends quite a bit on you. You are an atheist and that it your perogative, but are you comfortable enough in your belief or lack thereof to allow the Christian woman you have feelings for have her beliefs, do what she wants to and not interfere with it. Are you an Atheists that simply keeps your thoughts and beliefs to yourself or do you openly engage Christians into religious debates. If you are willing to keep your thoughts to youself (except of course, you and our partner are always free to and I encourage it) to discuss your different opinions and views and try help the other UNDERSTAND your view point without belittling the other's belief or without trying to persuade the other into believing your way. If you become serious and marriage becomes an option, one factor you have to consider children. Children become our lives and the biggest point of discussion and often dissagrement in any marriage. My brother in law is atheist and he is not ashamed of it and if asked about his views he will tell you but he does not just offer them up at the dinnner table. I believe the biggest factor in their marriage being such a success is that they have just agreed to disagree, but even more importantly they decided early on that if they had kids and they have two sons that they would be Christened in the Episcopal church as infants. They had a private (family and friends) Christening and after they had a reception at their home which was very casusal, mexican food margarritas and beer. My atheists brother in law did have to stand at the pulpit and around the holy water as the priest poured holy water on the childs head, the child is handed to the priest by the father, then back to the mother, the dipped then handed by the priest to the Godparents and passed around. All included in the procedure, the parents and Godparents are to recite in unison some prayer type words after the priest ask who gives this child yada yada yad.... I honstly do not know if he pretended to speak, actually spoke or ust outhed the words half ass, it really does not matter. When the issue of the Christening came up I was really proud of the way my brother in law handled it. It being true to his non belief in God, it did not upset him or offend him to take part in this religious ceremony because as he put it he does not believe in God, so he was not partaking in anything sacreligious to him for he has no beleif in God, so he was not offending his belief. He was just participating in an event that had no meaning to him but had a meaning to his wife, so he was just there for her. Now my sister is not the most religious of Christian, but she odes attend church probably about once a month. They decided early on that they would send the boys to Sunday school as little kids so that they could be exposed to the Christian faith, and if the boys do not want to go they are not forced. They arenot made to be in the choir or anything like that. It has all worked out, the ten year old, is more into sports now than anything and that occupies most of his weekends including Sundays, The younger one is 6 and he goes to church with granparents sometmes. They have been exposed to religion and they can attend if they chosse. They say thir prayers at night, more because they believe in being good people than for any particuliar denomination. They are taught to treat others well, not to lie and cheat not because of religion but because of basic general morality. In time they will choose their own religion, maybe it will the religion of the woman they marrry, but they have open minds, they have been to church, they have been to temple with jewish friends. Their dad did not speak of his atheists status to them as kids for it would just confuse them, he has told the ten year old who just sort of shakes it off. If it comes up in the neighborhood he says "My dad does not believe in that" and moves on. The less empahsis placed on either believing or not believing has been the best approach for them. Bottom line, it depends on how religiosu she is and how accepting of it you are. If two people really love each other the relationship can survive this isssue. My husband is Jewidh I am Christian, we have huge gaps in our beleifs. I like to hear his opinions but while they cause mw to think and ponder they have yet to change my views and vise/cersa. Our kids wemt to sunday school and hebrew school and now they are teenagers and don't attend either. They beleive in a higher power and I am quite sure they will make the best choice for them when the time ocmes as they havew been exposed to it all. His children from prior marriage are all Jewish boys married to cartholic girls, thie issue of how they will raise thier children is sut now neing tsted as his first grandson is one years old. Love and no t arguing about religion is key to making the relationship survive
Most of the scriptural advice I have seen is that Believers should not marry non-believers. It can cause a lot of problems for her down the road. Women have it in-born to believe that their love can change a man...then there is a joke that the only way you can change a man is if he in diapers. It is God that changes the heart and the best she can do is be a good example to you and let you see what you are missing. A walk with God gives you peace, joy and love no matter what trials you are facing. I pray that you will make a good choice if you are concerned at all for her welfare. Mmm