Christian Dating Guide - I need some christian advice on a relationship...?

I need some christian advice on a relationship...?

I'm nearly 18 years old and I broke up with this guy almost a year ago. I still liked him for some time, but I know that God wants to be first in my life, and I have so much going for me right now that I just dont want a relationship with ANYBODY. He claims hes a christian, but he just doesnt get it. He still really likes me and is now STILL asking my best friend to talk to me. I dont know if he wants her to make me go back out with him or what, but he is driving me insane! The only time he goes to church is if he knows I am going to be there. He goes in the morning only if theres a chance he'll see me. He'll wait in his car until the service is over than come in, or he will stay outside. And this is a guy that claims he loves God, yet he doesnt understand that I'm not intrested in dating him, or anybody. I want to go to school, and I am putting Christ first in my life. I'm at the point where I really just want to punch him in the head. What should I do?? I have tried having people talk to him, but he doesnt really listen. I think I'm going to bring it to my youth pastor. I dont want to shut him out completely and ignore him, but I'm beginning to think thats the only thing I can do. Thanks so much. Its not that I dont want any relationships, but as far as dating goes, how can you invite someone to be a part of your life when you dont even have a life to share yet? I know theres someone out there for me, I'm just waiting till God tells me who it is. thanks to all who answered

Public Comments

Ever considered becoming a nun? That would put Jesus Christ first and this guy would probably get the message. Or...you could just ignore him.
This has nothing to do with being a Christian (and punching him in the head is not very Christian-like). This is all about you wanting to end the relationship and you are certainly well within your rights to do that, for whatever reason. You don't need to use your faith as a reason for wanting to end this. You just end it. You don't take his calls, you don't talk to him. You tell him "I'm sorry but it's over, I need some time to myself but maybe we can be friends after awhile". And then you just get on with your life and let him get on with his. You can't control how he feels and you can't stop him from trying but you can be very discouraging anytime he does try. And by discouraging I mean give him as little attention as possible. Do not respond to him.
Are you sure that God definitely doesn't want you to have a relationship? Although I don't think you should go out with this guy. I went out with a girl who only spoke about christianity etc around me and it seems so fake. However, my girlfriend now is far more dedicated than I am and she really encourages me to go to church etc, so I would reccomend looking for someone who regularly attends church as it bring you closer to God. So basically, I'd say don't go for him but don't avoid relationships altogether, we are social creatures, it's God's intention and it can bring you closer to him God Bless
If he's not getting the message and you've told him all this, I'd suggest pulling him aside and being very blunt about this whole thing. Sometimes people just need to be hit by a Clue-by-Four. If he doesn't get it then, cut him out of your life until he cools off since apparently he won't get the message otherwise.
Im not a beleiver of Christ at all, infact, he doesnt exist to me but I know what you mean trying to get your life together first which is only the best way to get it done. You're 18 and starting life and in order to have sucessful relationships and solutions for the future you must find yourself today. You cant do much about him since not very many people think like you today. it will take some time for him to realize that although you like him, you have priorities first and foremost. That's still hard for him to accept. If it were a bad relationship then Im sure he would not question it but he is stuck figuring where he went wrong. You may need to sit with your family and him and explain to him your decision.
wow, so there really are people who believe this silly nonsense about an invisible magic man in the sky. wow.... have you ever wondered why "he" enjoys watching us slaughter each other in "his" name? he hasn't stopped us and we've been doing it for 2,000 years...
I never heard Christ said "dont date' and put me first. Yes we have 2 put him first but he also want us 2 be happy. If being with this guy will make u happy, then why are u putting u'r self on trial. I 2 think u should be a nun. Concentrate only on serving God and nothing else about people who cares about u!
I would tell your parents and maybe the police if you feel he is stalking you. If you don't feel you share the same beliefs and don't want to date him and if he doesn't stop tell him- your going to the police. How old is this guy? Hope he's not like 25 and doing this!!
First off, I commend you for putting Christ first in your life, that is first and foremost! Second, get your youth pastor involved and see if you can sit down (all three of you) and talk out why is it that HE is not getting the message that you do not want to be in a relationship. Unfortunately there are those people out there that just don't get it. It sounds as if he is borderline stalker and if you tell somebody (at least 2 or 3 people - and have him sit down with you and those 2 or 3 people) then maybe he'll back off because it does sound like he is getting a bit agressive. We're trying to keep you safe out there. Good luck and God Bless
There are two things I want to say. 1. I want you to know that you are more than capable of having a bf and still putting Jesus and God number 1. He wants you to be happy with other people and to love other people. I know you didn't ask for help here, but since I have been in this situation I wanted to let you know that you can do both and have both be successful. 2. You really need to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel. Explain that right now you believe that God wants you to concentrate on school and God. You aren't looking to date ANYONE. Let him know that you would welcome the opportunity to praise the Lord with him together at church on Sundays, or do Bible studies together, but you don't want a relationship right now. If he is a good guy who loves the Lord, he will jump at the chance to worship, pray, and study the Word with you. If not, than you know exactly where his heart lies (more with you than with God) and thats not good. I hope this helped and goodluck. I like to see other Christians working toward a relationship with God and Jesus.
You should pray on this matter. I don't think you should get back with him. Pray the Lord would send the right one your way. You need someone going in the same direction that you are going in.
Well, I'll be the first to admit I'm not an expert on this. I had 12 years of Catholic school, but kind of fell off the proverbial wagon when it came to going to church every Sunday. Truthfully, you have two issues here: a short-term one and a long-term one. As for the short-term one (the boyfriend), it is quite obvious that he wants to be with you but you don't want to be with him. The trouble is, you gave him a way in (your faith), and now he thinks that's what he's got to do. The thing to tell him is that you're not looking to be in a relationship right now, whether with a devout Christian or anyone else. In fact, don't even mention that part: just say you're not looking for any kind of relationship right now. OK, you're long-term issue: finding someone. I remember coach after coach telling me in school (and they got this from Vince Lombardi, who probably got it from Knute Rockne), that the three most important things in a person's life are: their religion, their family, and their education/job, in that order. Well, you certainly have #1 all set, but that doesn't mean there isn't room for #2 or #3. Not everybody on the planet is as spiritually secure as you, and that is probably one of the toughest standards to achieve. This is purely me talking, but I've always found God not to be a micro-manager: He/She/It wants us to work with each other to find harmony and peace. (admittedly, we're not doing a very good job of it) I'd like to think God's more concerned with our relationships to each other more (or at least as much) as our relationship with God. Just some food for thought when you start looking for that right person.
kudos to you! if something's bothering you, just pray about it. ;)